11 Things Women Secretly Want Men To Do (But Never Say)


We’ve all been there. A man walks into a club and catches the eye of every woman in the room.

You can’t explain why but he’s magnetic. Women seem drawn to him, start conversations with him at the bar, want to dance with him.

How you can be that guy? Do you need to be a supermodel? A hypnotist?

I’m here to tell you it’s not only possible, it’s simple. Why?

things women love men to wearthings women love men to wear

I’ve done the hard work for you. I’ve paid attention to the real scientific research done on what women secretly find attractive and also listened to what women say online. The truth is, looks are just a small part of the equation and hypnotism doesn’t come into it!

Today, I’m going to share with you the 11 things you can do that are proven to drive women crazy! (in the best way).

The 11 Things Women Secretly Want:

  1. Loosening the necktie
  2. Soft gaze
  3. Speaking passionately
  4. Rolling up your sleeves
  5. Signature scent
  6. Reading
  7. Cleaning your nails daily
  8. Being a handyman
  9. All-around kindness
  10. Wear a plain, white t-shirt
  11. Rock the stubble

Let’s get started!

1. Loosen Your Necktie

man loosening necktieman loosening necktie

That’s right – the simple act of loosening your tie can increase your attraction.

Specifically, women love to see this from a man arriving after a long day at work.

The image of a professional man cutting loose after a day of hard work is sexy to a lot of women.

Jump on Reddit and see the data for yourself. One lady associates the look directly with sexual fantasies…

Bonus if he loosens his tie. Triple bonus if he takes off the tie, puts it around my neck and pulls me in for a kiss. – nottootrusting

2. Give Her The Soft Gaze

We’re often taught that hard stares and domination are the keys to manhood. When it comes to women though, a little tenderness goes a long way.

This was a highly upvoted preference by the ladies of Reddit. Women love it when they are doing something uninteresting and catch you watching them with moon pool eyes.

Soft eyes convey tenderness, affection and attraction. It sure beats the creepy Joker stare some guys give. One woman on Reddit said:

The eyes don’t lie and you really can see a person’s true soul through them. It’s very special to me. – leese216

Think of it as gazing instead of staring. It’s all about achieving those longing eyes. Once you do that, her heart will skip.

3. Speak Passionately

couple having fun talkcouple having fun talk

This works well when a mutual attraction is already established.

It applies to both men and women. We can’t help but love what our lovers enjoy.

You’ve probably experienced this before – especially in the honeymoon phase. When she talks about anything, you can’t help but encourage her.

Gents, the same goes for the ladies. Once they like you, one of the things women secretly want is to hear what you have to say.

As one article put it, passionate men appear set on their goals. They seem like they know what they want and nothing can stop them. THAT is sexy.

This doesn’t mean you should prattle on endlessly about the mundane. What I am saying is once the conversation broaches your interests, commit!

4. Roll Your Sleeves The Right Way

sleeve rollsleeve roll

Rolling up your sleeves is a sure way to increase your sex appeal.

It works whether you’re wearing short or long sleeves.

When it comes to a long-sleeved shirt, rolling your sleeves to the elbow brings out the forearms. Doing a couple of rolls with a short-sleeved shirt accentuates the shoulders a bit more.

There are several sleeve rolls you can do, ranging from the master roll to the basic roll. You can learn about those through my article on rolling up shirt sleeves!

5. Leverage The Power Of A Signature Scent

man is testing cologneman is testing cologne

You probably saw this coming – yes, you need a fragrance to win the day.

Is it a necessity? No. In fact, plenty of ladies are content with a man smelling like his soap.

Will it give you an incredible advantage? Hell yes.

Certain scents are scientifically proven to catch a woman’s attention. These include strongly masculine fragrances – scents strong with musk, cedar, oud… any of these can work.

Conversely, avoid citrus scents. They invigorate us guys, but women aren’t phased by them.

Some secret habits are as simple as a spritz.

Find out what’s the best men’s cologne for you.

6. Read Every Day

guy in glasses reading bookguy in glasses reading book

Yep, one of the things women secretly want is men who read. We won’t go too deep into all the benefits of reading in this article because they are too numerous to mention.

What I will say is that reading is a powerful matchmaking tool.

Literature brings people together. A man who has read The Count of Monte Cristo, Dune, or The Great Gatsby is infinitely more interesting than the man who likes Breaking Bad.

As far as habits go, this one takes a little work – but the results are worth it. Even ten minutes of reading a day will put you ahead of a lot of men. What do women say?

It makes a man so much more attractive. My most recent ex didn’t have any books in his bedroom and it was a real turn-off. – rhiskisnoir

7. Clean Your Nails Daily

man's hands with well groomed nailsman's hands with well groomed nails

Nails are among the first aspects of a man that women notice. Once again, the ladies of Reddit tell us exactly what they look for…

Your nails not only indicate how good at grooming you are in general, but they also show how suitable you are for the bedroom. No one wants dirty fingertips going where they shouldn’t.

Let’s cut the bull – you’ll be expected to perform with those fingers in private, gents.

How to keep your fingernails clean and make a strong first impression?

  • Scrub your nails daily. The region underneath your fingernails can house tens of thousands of bacteria.
  • Clip and keep your nails in shape on a weekly basis!

8. Get Handy

handy workhandy work

Here’s something more primordial…

Women are attracted to men who work with their hands – who can make basic fixes or create something without needing help.

Some ladies even report attraction from tasks as simple as assembling IKEA furniture!

So, never be afraid to get your hands dirty!

As one woman on Reddit put it, competence and focus are sexy.

My ex was legitimately chopping wood for a fire pit that he built once, and I was so turned on that I couldn’t think. It was ridiculous. – [deleted]

What does this mean? It’s time to learn how to change a flat tire, how to anchor a bookcase to a wall, and how to fix a loose tile.

9. Be Kind

romantic couple walking in blossom gardenromantic couple walking in blossom garden

This may sound cheesy as far as “secrets” go, but it holds true.

The ladies themselves know not to pay attention to how you treat them when gauging your manners. They know you’re after something – a phone number, a good time, or a relationship.

Instead, they pay attention to how you treat others – people you don’t have a vested interest in.

Some folks call this the “waitress test”, where the woman observes how the man treats wait staff.

Let’s face it. If you’re rude to staff, it’s a strong indicator of the kind of man you truly are.

Be nice!

10. Wear A Plain, White T-Shirt

Weirdly specific, right?

There is science to back it up.

The Telegraph published a 2013 study revealing that women found men in white T-shirts 12% more attractive on average.

White T-shirts are among the most versatile tools at your disposal. They not only feel great, they look great too.

Why? Plain white tees create the illusion of broader shoulders and slimmer waists. This makes them perfect for achieving the V-shaped torso every man wants.

This is of most use to those of you who feel out of shape. Well-toned men only saw a marginal increase in attraction, while others had drastic results.

The key here is FIT, gentlemen. This only works if the T-shirt is fitted so you need to know which men’s body type you have.

11. Rock The Stubble

Facial hair is in, and we got the studies to prove it.

Investigators from the Journal of Evolutionary Biology used CGI to morph different men’s faces to feature various hairstyles. Their finding?

handsome guy in leather jackethandsome guy in leather jacket

Facial hair is considered universally hot by the ladies.

Long story short, women judged heavy stubble to be immensely attractive for one-night stands. Full beards were judged worthy of long-term relationships.

Another survey from 2020 conveyed similar results. Short stubble received an 80% ranking, with 24% ranking it as the single most attractive facial hairstyle.

Either way, a well-groomed mane works in your favor.

Summary – The Things Women Secretly Want

The things women secretly want from us men aren’t hard to do. In fact, they’re stupid-simple. After all, how hard is it to pick up a book?

The problem is that most guys never think to do these things. None of them offend though and don’t cost you anything but a little time.

Get out there, gentlemen.

Resources used


  • “What is something you watch men do that turns you on?” Link
  • “Do you see a guy different when he’s reading a book in public?” Link
  • “What is it about eye contact that drives you wild?” Link

Lisa. 2018. “The Most Attractive Quality in a Guy” lisa being honest. Link

Sanghani, Radhika. 2013. “Plain white T-shirt makes men more attractive” The Telegraph. Link

Dixson, B.J.W., Sulikowski, D., Gouda?Vossos, A., Rantala, M.J. and Brooks, R.C. 2016. “The masculinity paradox: facial masculinity and beardedness interact to determine women’s ratings of men’s facial attractiveness” J. Evol. Biol., 29: 2311-2320. Link

Rose, Ben. 2021. “What Type of Facial Hair Do Women Find Most Attractive?” Prim & Prep. Link

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