Sheesh, the Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills are a bunch of hypocritical shrews, but Lisa Rinna is quickly emerging as the leader of that pack.
There is something going on here where these women are attempting to gaslight Denise Richards, who won’t allow it. Somehow a conversation where Denise, almost jokingly, revealed to Erika Jayne that her daughter, Sami, overheard them talking about three-ways, has turned these women into a teeming frothing mob shrieking that Denise is mom-shaming and accusing them of being unfit parents. I’m sorry… I missed when that happened? Actually, Denise is right – they are mom-shaming her!
They are repeatedly and constantly bringing up irrelevant things that, in their minds, implicates Denise as a hypocritical slut who set a skanky bad example for her children, but is now projecting her own deep loathing shame onto them. At least that’s what Dr. Lipsa, consumer of self-help books from the 90’s, believes.
Denise exaggerated Sami being embarrassed because Denise doesn’t think it’s appropriate to lewdly and loudly discuss sex in front of children. Plus like she said – OTHER people’s children also were there. However, I think she’s over it and is now only irritated because the other women won’t stop bringing it up!
But let’s, like Kyle Richards, stop getting ahead of ourselves.
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The first drama was Garcelle Beauvais being nominated for an award for her work with the LA Mission. Garcelle invites all the women because she wants them there. Attendance is mandatory. Except if you are Dorit Kemsley who is suffering from a bug after eating Buca di Beppo pasta she found stuck to the bottom of one of the original dining experience chairs. The noodles had formed what looked like two interlocking “C’s, and Dorit assumed they were CHA NEL, so she gobbled them right up. Later Dorit will wear a see-thru lingerie ballgown to a ‘casual’ BBQ at Kyle’s house. She is the wannabe empress who literally has no clothes.
In the car on the way to the ceremony, Lipsa does the same thing to Garcelle that she did to Teddi Mellencamp about the All In retreat – she talked shit about her so-called friends by hinting that they’re talking shit about the so-called friend she’s sitting next to, and implied that there were problems. Lipsa even claims that last time they were in the limo together, leaving Erika’s astrology night, Denise said things about Kyle she wouldn’t say to Kyle’s face. Except Denise DID say those things to Kyle’s face. And Lipsa sat there and watched the whole thing.
Garcelle has formed her own opinions though. She tells Lipsa she would be offended if someone was being raunchy in front of her kids. And it’s well-established that she finds Kyle to be shallow as an acrylic dish holding polyester flowers.
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To prove this, Garcelle gets up on stage in front of thousands of people, to make a speech thanking the sincere people and pointing out the fake people masquerading as friends, here for the publicity. From behind her iPhone screen, where she is eagerly posting this moment to her Instagram Stories, Kyle looks up, shocked. Garcelle is pointing out something Kyle doesn’t realize about herself: she doesn’t actually know how to be a friend. All her relationships are insincere and transactional. Kyle believes that by asking the square-footage of the house Garcelle is building, they’re bonding and getting close.
After the award, Denise leaves, citing work. Garcelle is fine with this, but the other women accuse Denise of trying to run out on another ‘much-needed’ conversation about why she’s supposedly still harboring resentment for them. So they wanted to cause a scene at an LA Mission gala? Classy.
Now Denise can’t have a job. She’s subtly and insidiously shaming them for not working full-time. Or she’s insinuating that her work is more important than theirs. Why are they all so worried about what Denise thinks of their mothering? Hmmmm… Riddle me this!
With Denise gone, Garcelle takes the opportunity to call out Kyle for being fake. Kyle literally is dumbfounded. She thinks they’ve been genuinely connecting all this time and does not get it. Sutton Stracke breaks the awkwardness with a perfectly timed joke about how she and Garcelle can band together – the two unwanteds and ignored and become their own highly glamorous package deal. I support this!
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Kyle laughs because she has to, but know this… Kyle will never be emotionally fulfilled. Period. Kyle, like a kaftan with a hair cape, is all excess fabric and elements that seem substantial, but are actually flimsy things, unable to withstand their own presentation. All the things Kyle defines herself with, looks-wise, are meant to conceal what’s inside: the hair, the clothes, the 8″ platforms she cribbed from Sutton who was wearing a similar pair a few weeks before, the giant house with the manufactured garden paradise teeming with life, but imported, carefully cultivated by a professional to have the right ‘look,’ dearly paid-for, and constantly clipped and groomed.
At this moment, Kyle decides to enact revenge by suddenly throwing a family BBQ for all her friends … and their CHILDREN. Oh, hm, she just haaaaad that idea right when Denise was feeling like she didn’t want her children around her friends? Honestly, Denise has a legit reason to be angry — at Lipsa!
The next day, Denise has dinner with Aaron, who is a few electrons short of a proton, and thank goodness, he has a big dick working for him, otherwise … who knows.
Denise is really hurt by Lipsa, a woman who has been her friend for 20 years, being so callous as to bring up Charlie Sheen and his hookers. Denise says Lipsa knows so much of what has really happened, from when she believed they had a genuine friendship. Oh, Lipsa is no one’s friend. Aaron wants to bail on the party. On the way to Kyle’s, he keeps begging Denise to skip it. Denise doesn’t want to go either, but this is her job… Which is what she can’t say, so she wants them to just show up and make the best of it.
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Right away, everyone notices that Denise is childless. They think it’s intentional. Maybe it is.
Kyle is full of absolute garbage. Which, when you’re Kyle, looks like the choked on magazine stories from their childhood when Kim was the star, followed by the chocked on photos of Paris and Nicky and Kathy, then some wadded up kaftans stuffed in to stop the bile of Alison DuBois‘s voice sneering, “Know This…”
Furthermore, I don’t think Denise is ashamed of sexuality. I think like most adults she recognizes a time and a place. Like no one talked about three-ways at Kyle’s party!
The party is going well enough until they all sit down for dinner. Sit allllll the way down. Kyle has a teepee, and a long table with cushions. Teddi, work-out queen, can barely squat this low. Denise whisper-jokes to Garcelle that she would never bring her kids around these women, but Kyle must have some sort of secret sound system installed that amplifies shady comments.
Her bangs peak right up. Kyle starts badgering Denise. Denise insists over and over she’s not mad – her kids are teenagers who don’t want to do a bouncy castle, and they’d rather find a babysitter for Eloise to get a true date night than haul her to this garbage approximation of a kids party.
Meanwhile, at the end of the table, Teddi, angsty that none of her friends care about her pregnancy, snarks that Denise is a hypocrite for dropping f-bombs around kids. That’s when Aaron inserts his big dick into the conversation. Now, do I think Aaron was being a mansplainer? Yes, but do I think he had a right to be irritated that his wife was being badgered about what amounts to literal nothing by a tableful of bored wannabe socialites? Yes.
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Aaron tells them all, in a deeply sarcastic way, that there is no issue and they need to drop it, “ladies.” The trouble is he keeps snidely calling them “ladies,” his voice dripping with causticity. Also, Aaron gave Kyle some sort of device to put under pillow to cure migraines. I think it was an alarm clock from the 70’s, that will transcribe her thoughts into Portuguese.
Aaron had some legit points (despite his tone), but then started talking in Dr. Seuss language of strange parables that make sense only if you’re a Who in WhoVille. Erika decides he’s either crazy or on drugs. Remember: ONLY Erika is allowed to draw boundaries and get upset when people talk about there children. ONLY Erika.
When Denise does this, it’s because she’s hiding something and judging. Denise points out that she only stopped the conversation in Santa Barbara after 2 hours of inquisition. Seriously!?!! WHAT THE FUCK! Do these women think they are are the FBI? BHBI – Beverly Hills Bureau of Idiocy, more like it.
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Erika and Lipsa leave the table, cursing all the way, and head for the children’s area. Which truly is where they belong, to talk shit about Denise and Aaron.
Denise tells Kyle she isn’t angry at anyone “at this table.” She means she’s angry at Lipsa. Kyle wants to know who Denise is referring to, and won’t let it go. This coupled with her +1 Teddi‘s nonstop commentary under her breath, causes Denise to snap. She calls Teddi a shit-stirrer, pointing out that NO ONE was upset with Denise until the spa day with Teddi and Sutton, afterward, suddenly everything became a big deal. “That’s true…” Sutton agrees, eager to finally be able to stop pretending she likes Teddi.
Sutton also shared that Denise never said she didn’t trust the women around her children. It is only Sutton and Garcelle defending Denise at all. Denise decides she won’t waste another perfectly good night – especially one with a babysitter – defending herself against baseless accusations of nothingness, so she stands up and announces to Aaron that they’re leaving.
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All the way out, Denise hisses at Aaron not to speak because they’re on camera. Kyle and Dorit chase her out the door, Kyle whining that people aren’t allowed to leave her parties in distress. She’s not Denise who lets people run out of her home when they’re being ganged up upon. But Denise is done. She’s drawing a line in the sand, and should probably spell it out with an ice sculpture: Her kids, off-limits.
Here is the problem with Lisa Rinna. She has gone too far, unchecked. It is NOT COOL to intentionally try to ruin someone’s life and reputation by planting false stories about them, as we see happening here and in the previews, and has happened numerous times since Lipsa joined the show. That is libel and slander.
It is time for someone – and I nominate Garcelle who is smart, cunning, and obviously sees what’s happening – to deploy the element of surprise by asking Lipsa where exactly her husband is, and with whom. Lipsa is so desperate to cloak her own secrets she will do anything. She is smart, but she’s getting too big for her britches, and the time has arrived for someone to beat her at her own game. Why are these women so afraid of her?
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TELL US – IS DENISE MOM SHAMING? DID SHE MAKE THE RIGHT DECISION TO LEAVE THE PARTY? WHAT DID YOU THINK ABOUT LAST NIGHT’S REAL HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS EPISODE?
[Photo Credits: Bravo]