Christopher Cole — a gay 15-year resident of the predominantly Republican and white town of Watertown, Connecticut — and his husband received a racist and homophobic typed letter last Friday afternoon mentioning their Democratic yard signs and the rainbow flag hanging in his front yard. Later that night, a group of men came onto his property and stole their signs and flag.
Police say they may never be caught, but Cole—a longtime out community activist—isn’t intimidated. In fact, he and his husband have already replaced the signs and flag and have received an outpouring of support from the community, local news, and their congresswoman.
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The aforementioned letter—sent by someone calling themselves “Americans that care”—referenced yard signs that Cole and his husband had in their yard in support of the Democratic presidential ticket, Vice President Kamala Harris and Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz, and of Black Congressional candidate Jahana Hayes.
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“If you knew how goddamn foolish your rah-rah for Karmonkey and Tennessee Waltz look on your house, you’d take it down along with your Nobodywana Hayes sign and especially the Prideless flag on your front door you could use for toilet paper,” the letter said. “All I can think of you is you must be a Dumbocrat. So I feel sorry for you.”
Christopher Cole Facebook The anonymous racist and homophobic letter sent to Christopher Cole to his husband.
About seven hours later, at around 10:38 p.m., the security camera in Cole’s front yard captured footage of a white-skinned individual in a dark hoodie and facemask tearing the rainbow flag that had flown from a flagpole hanging off of Cole’s home for the last 14 years. The individual ran off, and the camera’s audio captured the sound of him and other men yelling inaudibly at one another.
Cole and his husband were awake in their home during the vandalism, but they didn’t realize what had happened until 6 a.m. the following morning when Cole’s husband let the dog outside and saw what had been taken.
Cole posted images of the letter and video of the vandal on his Facebook page. By the following evening, he had replaced the sign and flag, and posted images of them on Facebook alongside the Bible verse Matthew 5:39 — “But I say to you: Do not resist an evildoer. But if anyone strikes you on the right cheek, turn the other also.”
“Even though we’re in Connecticut, this is very red town, and there’s lots of Trump signs up everywhere,” Cole told LGBTQ Nation.
“Our flag has been flying out there for 14 years,” he added, noting that he has heard passers-by yell things at their house like, “Are you f**king kidding me?” or “What the hell is wrong with you?” One day about two weeks ago, a truck revved its engine and spun its wheels near their front yard, filling their yard with smoke. During that incident, someone stole three of their signs.
He had written off these individuals as “immature, crazy people.” But he found the racist, homophobic, misogynistic language in the letter “really concerning.”
“It’s one thing to yell obscenities from the street, but to come into someone’s yard and rip something that they hold dearly and that identifies them off of their house, steal all of their political signs. This is clearly crossing a line, and we felt violated, we felt unsafe, we felt intimidated, and we certainly called the police.”
Christopher Cole Facebook A still image from Christopher Cole’s security camera capturing the masked vandal tearing down their Pride flag.
Despite filing police reports about the letter and vandalism, officers told him they couldn’t identify the vandal without additional evidence. Though they’re investigating, Watertown Police Chief Joshua Bernegger inexplicably told local news station WTNH, “There’s no indication within the letter that it was motivated by hate or against any protected class of individual.”
“The Watertown Police Department is taking this crime very seriously, as no citizen should be subject to fear and intimidation tactics based on their political affiliation,” the department said in a statement.
Cole said the rainbow flag has mostly resulted in positive responses, including a six-year-old’s crayon drawing of Cole and his husband with the flag and an eight-page letter from a 15-year-old high schooler who wrote that seeing the flag every day made a difference in her ability to come out. He has also seen other rainbow flags go up around his neighborhood in the years since he began flying his.
To Cole and his husband’s gratitude, their neighbors quickly began bringing signs and banners to help replace those stolen. Their next-door neighbor erected an even bigger Pride flag than the one that was ripped down. Four news stations have covered the incident, and Cole and his husband have replaced the stolen sign with newer and bigger ones.
On Sunday morning, as news of the vandalism spread online, Congresswoman Hayes, whose campaign sign Cole had in his yard, called Cole directly at 8:45 a.m. on Sunday morning.
“I was sick over this post when it was shared with me last night and I reached out to apologize to Chris and his partner and let him know I was praying for them,” Hayes wrote on social media.
Christopher Cole Facebook Rep. Jahana Hayes (left) stands next to Christopher Cole and their respective spouses at a church last Sunday morning.
During their 15-minute conversation, she expressed regret that their support for her campaign inspired the vandal to harm their home. She also expressed support for the men and admiration for their standing up to intimidation. She also noted that Cole is involved in his local church and joined him and his husband at services that morning.
Cole and his husband attend the United Church of Christ, a progressive Christian church. A few years ago, he helped lead an effort to make the church more inclusive of LGBTQ+ people. He called the effort “contentious at times,” noting that some church members left, said “harmful things” in meetings, and others sent hateful comments about the church on social media.
Cole is also the executive director of APNH (A Place to Nourish your Health), an LGBTQ+-inclusive community health center in nearby New Haven for people affected by HIV, substance use, mental illness, and related conditions. He said he was severely bullied as a child and refuses to back down now in the face of harassment.
“Especially in a town where it is very conservative, I am very committed to being an activist and standing up and speaking up, because I think that makes a bigger difference than it does, like when I lived in West Hollywood or the Upper West Side of Manhattan,” Cole said. “I mean, it’s one thing to, you know, proudly fly our flags in those places, along with the 1,000s of other flags that are flying in those places. It’s a whole different thing when you’re the only one, and you’re the only church that does that.”
“I am really committed to not being silenced, and standing strong and shining light where there is darkness, and making sure that folks know that in this political environment, where people think that it’s okay to intimidate and hate, that I’m not going to shrink to it—no one else should.”
