Summer House Season 7 Episode 9 Recap: This Is 40

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It’s Kyle Cooke‘s birthday! And he’s finally turning the big 4-0. That’s right, the dad of the Summer House is officially entering his daddy era. But before we get to his birthday rager, possible mid-life crisis, and subsequent mental breakdown, we have some important ground to cover.

Kory & Sam Sittin’ In A Tree

Last week, Samantha Feher spilled the tea to pretty much every media outlet that would listen that she and Kory Keefer are, in fact, in a relationship. Surprise! And not only that, but they’ve been keeping it a secret since last summer. Like, she was in the audience during Kory’s debut appearance on Watch What Happens Live for Season 2 of Winter House. Before anyone knew she was going to be a Bravolebrity. Aww, how sweet! That is, if you ignore how awkward it must’ve been for her to listen to him answer questions about his hot and heavy fling in Vermont with Jessica Stocker.

Naturally, this development will give us a new perspective as we watch the rest of the season unfold. Because this really is the beginning of their romance. There will be no love triangle with Ciara Miller. Instead, we’re treated to a flirty alcohol run for Kyle‘s party, where Kory inadvertently reveals he’s on the same page as Samantha when it comes to her biggest kink. True romance means spitting in her mouth without even being asked.

Winter House Takes The Hamptons

Kory may have arrived with Craig Conover in last week’s episode, but Kyle‘s party is the perfect excuse to get even more Winter House alums back on our screens. That’s right, Amanda Batula has enlisted darling Rachel Clark to put her magic touch on the party’s decor. And the florist has brought Jason Cameron along to help!

Everyone in the house is thrilled to see the pair, who are still maybe sort of dating. Except for Lindsay Hubbard, who quite literally turns tail and bolts upstairs the second she realizes Jason is outside. It’s highly unlikely she and Jason have had much contact at all since their tense, understandably emotional sit-down in Vermont about her miscarriage (and how it played out in the public eye). But instead of being civil, HubbHouse sends Carl Radke outside to inform Jason she doesn’t want to speak to him. Like, at all.

Ride ‘Em, Cowboy

Once everyone’s in their Western best and Kyle‘s clipped in his mullet extensions, it’s time to party! And amid the revelry, one more familiar face turns up to celebrate Cooke Daddy’s big milestone: Luke Gulbranson! Who arrives dressed in a giant blanket a la Lenny Kravitz circa 2005. But even with the inexplicable get-up, it’s so, so nice to see Luke. I didn’t realize how much I would miss him until he was gone. And frankly, watching Luke’s natural chemistry with Kyle, Carl, Craig, and Kory is a stark reminder of just how much Chris Leoni isn’t doing it for me as his replacement this season. Sorry. He’s just not the right fit. And the cringeworthy attempts at flirting and slightly creepy confessionals just need to stop.

As it turns out, Luke also has a random (online) history with Gabby Prescod. Apparently, he matched with the newbie on an unnamed dating app before the conversation fizzled and he left her on read sometime during the pandemic. However, we find all of this out only via Gabby’s confessional, and neither of them seems to acknowledge the connection when they meet at the party.

RELATED: New Spinoff Summer House: Martha’s Vineyard Trailer Drops

Charleston Or New York?

On the other side of the party, Craig decides to sit down with Paige DeSorbo and discuss where their relationship is headed. The Charmer is getting in his head a little since Carl and Lindsay have been dating for roughly the same amount of time as he and Paige. But he and Paige haven’t moved in together. And aren’t on the fast track toward marriage like their cast mates. And are still making the long-distance thing work.

Which is precisely how Paige wants it for the time being. So she’s not apt to change anything in their relationship if it’s already working. Like, why fix what’s not broken? The more Craigy presses the subject, the more emotional she gets. Paige just isn’t ready to uproot her life and commit to Charleston. She’d be starting over completely. With her friends and family hundreds of miles away. Essentially for the sake of Southern Charm. But the second he sees Paige start crying, Craig sweetly caves and offers to give up South Carolina for her. Because he loves her more than Charleston, even if she loves New York City more than him.

“Why Are We Even Friends, Danielle?”

Of course, it wouldn’t be a proper Summer House bash without some major drama. So the fallout between Lindsay and Danielle Olivera continues to get worse after Kyle makes his grand entrance in a nearly-nude cowboy get-up. First, they awkwardly munch hot dogs in complete silence. But soon enough, the arguing kicks off in earnest.

Even amid their cold war, Danielle still had enough loyalty left in her to warn her bestie about Jason‘s surprise arrival. But it’s not enough to wipe the slate clean. Lindsay‘s holding a grudge that Danielle “attacked” her in front of all the girls at dinner. Danielle feels Lindsay can’t be bothered to ask her so much as a “goddamn f–king question once in a while” about her feelings. It’s not an equal friendship — Danielle’s always been Lindsay’s sidekick. And really, is she wrong?

TELL US – ARE YOU SHIPPING KORY AND SAMANTHA? WHICH WINTER HOUSE ALUM WERE YOU MOST EXCITED TO SEE AT KYLE’S PARTY? SHOULD CRAIG MOVE TO NEW YORK? ARE YOU TEAM LINDSAY OR TEAM DANIELLE?

[Photo by: Sasha Israel/Bravo]

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