Friends, gather ‘round and let’s hold hands because the Bravo gods have shined upon us and granted several miracles on this sacred New Year of 2023. The network we love isn’t necessarily known for listening to fans but the battle cry of “GOODBYE [LISA] RINNA!” didn’t fall on deaf ears this time.
We’ve also said unto Felicia, farewell as Diana Jenkins will be nothing more than a memory this time next year. No more lip-licking, no more singing from vampire-in-training husband. What more could the Bravo deities bestow on us unworthy citizens of a television-watching nation? I cannot believe I have the honor of typing out these next few words… Alex McCord is coming back, y’all.
According to Page Six, the Season 4 Real Housewives Ultimate Girls Trip cast has come out. That shaking you feel is the simultaneous joy of Bravo viewers jumping up and down with excitement after struggling through multiple heinous seasons of different Real Housewives franchises. This is where we reap the rewards of our sacrifice.
Let’s take a look at the gift that will keep on giving, shall we? Real Housewives of Orange County alum Vicki Gunvalson is returning. Yeah I don’t know why either because she didn’t give much on her last RHUGT but we do know she was sad. Hopefully she has cheered up by now, but you know, it’s Vicki. She’s super mad Tamra Judge got her orange back, so I expect she’ll be pretty bitter –which is a regular Tuesday for Vicki. Real Housewives of Atlanta gem Eva Marcille is also coming back. Yes, I am confused too. Love Eva, think she’s adorable, don’t remember a damn thing she did at Blue Stone Manor except get baked.
I know you are wondering, and yes, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills will represent with Ms. Brandi Glanville once again. Unlike Eva and Vicki, Brandi was an integral part of the last RHUGT and I’m sure Vicki can’t wait to hang out with her again. Also returning is former RHOA star Phaedra Parks. Remind me, did Phaedra do anything last season other than make faces and look surprised?
Now let’s move on to the good part! Someone managed to convince Real Housewives of New Jersey’s own Caroline Manzo to dip her toes back into the lady pond of wealthy women who ruthlessly judge each other. Really looking forward to seeing this one have a convo with Vicki. Thankfully Caroline has a lot of experience dealing with people who have personalities on a different frequency than the rest of us, so she should be okay. Guess who else is back from the other side of relevance? RHOC alum – Gretchen Rossi! Pack your best bad girl of figure skating cocktail dresses and get ready for ‘ol Gretch to drop some knowledge about how to stay with, but never marry, a man who hasn’t been employed for about 13 years.
Also suiting up to return to work is RHOBH legend Ms. Camille Donatacci Grammer Meyer 007, formerly of Beverly Hills, currently of the world. Camille will be there to whip everyone into shape with words that have no fewer than three syllables. I can already feel her disdain for Gretchen and Gretchen’s wardrobe creeping in and the thought alone will keep me warm on these cold winter nights. Vicki will automatically hate her because Camille has actual wealthy people’s kind of money.
Am I saving the best for last? You bet your sweet Aspercreme I am. Friends, we are not worthy. To a certain group of people in New York, status is everything – and the only person that can speak on that is the legend, the icon, the one and only Real Housewives of New York OG DOCTOR Alex McCord. She will be back to give you Johan Face, she will (probably not) wear her Herman Munster shoes, and she will deliver messages to you whilst breaking out in hives IN THIS ECONOMY. If you didn’t notice the new addition to Alex’s name, she is in fact a PhD and completed her doctoral program in psychology in Australia where she lives with her family.
The scene of the crimes location of this blessed event will take place in Marrakech, Morocco, a spot Alex is already familiar with from Season 4 of RHONY. Currently, denizens in the greater Marrakech area are purchasing extra locks for their doors and loading up on their own personal alcohol stash in anticipation of these women wiping out any sellable liquor within a 25 mile radius of wherever they stay.
So this must have been what Brandi was hinting at when she did the stunt queen hand-opening-the-diamond Twitter post. Except this isn’t a diamond, it’s more of a bone. The same bone Bravo has thrown Vicki and Brandi for the second time. Real Housewives Ultimate Girls Trip Season 4 is expected to premier in late 2023. On behalf of all Bravo fans, we would like to wish the residents of Marrakech good luck.
TELL US- ARE YOU EXCITED ABOUT THE RETURNING HOUSEWIVES? SHOULD THE CAST BE ENTIRELY NEW? WHO ARE YOU MOST EXCITED TO SEE?
[Photo Credit: David Livingston/Getty Images]