Talk to ten people about their fast food preferences, and you’ll get ten different answers. From where to go to what to order to how much to customize, everyone has their own system. It turns out, however, that all of our systems are wrong. There is a correct way to do fast food and Van Wilder inspiration turned hilarious stand-up comedian Bert Kreischer has found the perfect gameplan.
It all started on Saturday evening when Bert Kreischer asked his 800,000+ Twitter followers what their preferred McDonald’s order was. He mentioned his own, which is apparently a Supersized Big Mac meal with four single cheeseburgers and a Diet Coke. Even for a man known for his eating prowess like Kreischer, the order seemed like too much for many fans so they started asking him follow-up questions. That’s when he dropped this brilliant scheme…
SECRET TIME: I take off the bottom bun off (Useless, all the ketchup, pickles, and cheese are up top) and taco them out, save the calories for another bottomless burger!!
Typically, I’m a big bun guy, and I’m not going to apologize for that. The bun is an essential component to a good cheeseburger, and I’m not here for anyone’s lettuce wrap suggestions. But even so, the bun has to be in proportion to the meat and other ingredients, and that has always been the problem with the smaller-sized McDonald’s burgers. The patty is just too small, in my opinion, to necessitate how much bun you’re given. It’s fine on the Quater Pounder and the Big Mac, but it’s too much for the regular cheeseburgers.
But one bun folded over taco style? That’s the perfect ratio of meat and ingredients to bun. It makes me want to go out right now and just load up on a half dozen or so of these concoctions. Kreishcer has probably been doing that for years, just laughing at the rest of us while we wolfed down the bottom bun like rubes.
Outside of A+ eating opinions, Bert Kreischer has had a pretty wild career. As a super-super senior at Florida State, he was the subject of a Rolling Stone article about his hard partying. The article reportedly served as a jumping off point for Van Wilder. After graduation, he became a stand-up comedian and has since gone on to a really great career. He hosts podcasts with Tom Segura and Bill Burr. He’s had multiple stand-up specials, hosted competitions and has been the star of reality shows on Travel Channel and Netflix. There’s also set to be a forthcoming movie about his life called The Machine, which is a reference to an all-time great story he told during one of his stand-up specials. If you haven’t seen it, it’s worth watching. And if you haven’t tried to turn your burgers into tacos, you should try that too because it sounds amazing, and it’s currently my plan for the day.