Real Housewives Of New York Recap: Remember Your Blue Stone Manners

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It would be an understatement to say Luann de Lesseps FREAKED out on last week’s episode. This has been the messiest season of The Real Housewives of New York ever. However, the way Lu treated Sonja Morgan was so random and so uncalled for. In all fairness, Sonja should be paid for her cabaret appearance. Luann’s ego can’t handle that, apparently. Pay the poor girl, so she doesn’t have a full breakdown!

Another big talking point heading into this episode is the new rift between Ramona Singer & Elyse Slaine. It’s looking like that friendship might be donezo. Also, why is Dorinda Medley so invested in the issue between Luann & Sonja? Doesn’t she have her own history of treating Sonja like crap? Or do we not remember the issue about the crest on the slippersLuann de Lesseps Real Housewives Of New York

All I want is to see Heather “Hey Mama” “Holla” Thomson. Can we fast forward to that point? She has a natural grounding energy that this group needs. They are a chaotic mess this season. I still love them though. Even a bad New York season is good.

We cut to 40 minutes later at the beginning of the episode, and everyone’s going to dinner. Uh okay. Is this group capable of having a civilized meal after all of the drama? I’m not so sure.

Dorinda is VERY dressed up for a dinner at home. She’s the only one. So many sparkles. She made it nice for us! At least she tries. I wouldn’t want all of that chaos in my home.

Luann came in the room so fast when Ramona started talking about Sonja doing cabaret first. Technically it was burlesque, but her point is valid. I just hate how inflated this cabaret show has made Luann’s ego. It was already huge, but now you can see it from Mars.

Dorinda Medley Real Housewives Of New York

Luann is annoyed that Dorinda is trying to defend Sonja. I don’t agree with Luann necessarily, but it’s odd Dorinda is dying on this hill. Why is she so invested? Also, this is a great example of what happens to Luann when she drinks. She keeps talking about how it’s her show and says the word “me” like a million times. WE GET IT.

Dorinda brings up that Sonja stood by Luann’s side during the lowest point of her life. Truth bomb right there. However, Dorinda’s aggression level is so over the top. Everyone is too much with this. It’s really not a huge deal, but it’s being blown up into one. Alcohol is a big factor in all of this.

AHH. Dorinda just brought up Luann’s mugshot AGAIN. Holy f**k. The last time this happened, they didn’t speak for so long. That is the worst possible direction this could have gone in. Leah McSweeney brings up a valid point saying that anyone in this group is one drink away from a mugshot. Where is the lie in that?

Luann starts to cry after Dorinda chose to go there. I get what Dorinda was trying to say, but there was really no reason to go that far with it. Dorinda tells Ramona that Luann uses the group and that she uses the Jovani thing that “she” gave her. I guess we are still bitter about that.

Dorinda Medley Luann de Lesseps Real Housewives Of New York

A distraught Luann tries to flee the monster mansion, but Dorinda continues to taunt her about Jovani. Dorinda did create that moment, but the success of the song doesn’t really go to her. That’s all Luann. Dorinda is in a bitter dark place this season, and it’s sad to watch. She’s been the definition of toxic.

Before Luann can escape the clutches of Blue Stone Manor, Dorinda physically checks her at the door. You truly can’t make this s**t up. This women are bat s**t crazy whenever they’re in this house. Holy hell. There’s no chance that Luann stays the night.

Leah tries to get Luann to stay, but Dorinda doesn’t make things better. She’s nonstop hurling insults Luann’s way. Also, WHAT THE HELL IS LEAH’S NEW CONFESSIONAL LOOK? Who approved that? That might be the worst interview look in franchise history.

Leah and Luann agree to go to the pub together, so this should be good. Ramona’s tagging along too. This is either going to be really fun or a total clusterf**k. I’m down for it either way. Although, the way Luann is crying during all of this makes me really said. Unless the tears are fake.

I was originally really upset with Luann for how she spoke to Sonja. I still am. However, Dorinda took it to another level of not okay that she needs to apologize for. Her behavior is so unacceptable. Luann’s too. Everyone needs to take it down a notch. Cut back the drinking for sure.

Elyse Slaine Sonja Morgan Real Housewives Of New York

Dorinda calls the next morning to apologize to Luann and say how much she loves her. Somehow it looks as if all will be forgiven. Luann apologizes too. I can’t believe how fast they dropped this. If this were Beverly Hills, we’d be talking about this night for three seasons. I like how much faster paced New York is.

Ramona claims that Dorinda doesn’t understand her own bad behavior. She says that is the reason that everyone drops things when it comes to her. What does that solve though? Shouldn’t they sit her down and at least try to explain to her why her actions aren’t appropriate? Sweeping it under the rug isn’t going to fix anything.

The same day as the fight, Dorinda did visit Richard’s grave. That could genuinely explain where the whirlpool of bad behavior came from. However, eventually we need to stop with the excuses and call it out. Period.

Luann and Sonja reunited and share a tender moment together. The best of all? Luann tells Sonja she wants her in the cabaret show. They want to work out something so Sonja can maybe eventually get paid. We’ll see if that ever happens.

How many of the women is Leah going to kiss? She tells everyone that she and Luann made out at the pub the night before. I can assure you that Leah is never ever ever going to get her lips on Ramona’s. No way. Ramona would have a total meltdown if that ever happened. It would probably be really sh***y if they ever did hookup anyway.

The women go to a store and sample the most delicious looking cheeses. I’m writing this on an empty stomach, and now all I want is a giant cheese spread. YUM! Now there is a giant chocolate turkey back at Dorinda’s place. Give me some!

Ramona Singer Leah McSweeney Real Housewives Of New York

RAMONA CLOGGED THE TOILET. OMG. Watching Ramona attempt to use the plunger to fix her toilet situation might be the best thing ever. She’s so out of her element. She doesn’t even know how to use the damn plunger! Leah is appalled at the sight of Ramona’s “floating little turd”. So much ew.

Ramona is bringing a breathalyzer to the dinner party. SO WEIRD. All of these women are going to blow over the legal limit by the end of the night. Luann’s outfit kind of resembles someone trying to dress like a naughty librarian. Somehow it works for her.

Leah is inviting the bartender from the pub to Dorinda’s house. That’s so bizarre to me. She doesn’t even know the guy. What’s even weirder is how fast Dorinda said yes to letting him come over. To each their own I suppose. Hopefully he’s not creepy!

Elyse has an alter ego called “Erika” that comes out when she gets too drunk. Not only that, she likes to make out with other women while in the persona. I think we know who Leah is going to kiss next.

Heather Thomson Ramona Singer Real Housewives Of New York

Heather looks FABULOUS. It’s so good having her back on my screen. Heather is shocked that Ramona compliments Luann’s show. Hearing that Dorinda and Heather have remained friends over the years warms my heart. Many Housewives friendships are fake or superficial, so this is nice.

Ramona refers to herself as “the top one percent” and she would never use a dating website. Oh my god this woman is so full of herself. There is nothing about her that puts her above everyone else. Her status and money mean nothing to most people. She’s just so fu**ing rude.

Dorinda gives a toast for Leah, and it’s really sweet actually. All about her being a great mom and how much she loves her. I do love her as well. She was a much needed fresh face on the show, but something still feels missing. The cast needs someone like Heather back on the show I think.

“Erika” came out to play, and she and Leah had that long awaited kiss. I hope it was good at least. Ramona blowing a .19 on the breathalyzer is just great. Wasn’t the entire point to prove that she wasn’t going to be that drunk?

Leah seems REALLY annoyed that Dorinda is hogging up all of the bartender’s attention. She wouldn’t give Leah a moment alone with the poor guy! Leah keeps apologizing for the group, but he seems unphased. He’s a bartender, so I’m sure he’s heard a hell of a lot worse!

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TELL US – SHOULD LUANN PAY SONJA TO BE IN HER CABARET SHOW? DID DORINDA GO TOO FAR BRINGING UP LUANN’S MUGSHOT? ARE YOU ENJOYING THIS SEASON OF THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW YORK?

[Photo Credit: Bravo]

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