We are five episodes into another disastrous season of 90 Day Fiance: Before The 90 Days and it’s not to early to speculate which couples will call it quits now or wait until the novelty of good any sex wears off. Some of these folks are clearly weighing how much they can delude themselves and ignore red flags before the physical gratification just won’t be worth it.
In a 90 Day Fiance first, this season features a same-sex couple. Stephanie Matto is a social media influencer who flew to Australia to meet Erika Owens. These two sweethearts are both young enough to make life-changing decisions to further their relationship if they decide to. They are probably the most believable couple at this point, though they’ve only just met in person. The hitch for Stephanie is going to be opening up sexually. In the latest episode, Stephanie alluded to challenges with intimacy that will likely be a large part of her story line.
Stephanie took to Instagram after the episode aired to explain her perspective. “I am going to be the realest with you guys right now” she wrote, “I don’t talk about this much, and it’s embarrassing. It’s gross. It’s not pretty. But it’s my life, and if talking about it can help others feel less alone, then it will be worth it.”
Stephanie revealed that her low sex drive is a side affect of anemia medication. She explained that, “2 and a half years ago when I was diagnosed with Aplastic Anemia I was put on lupron. If you don’t know what lupron is, its a sexual suppression medication that stops your period, amongst other things. I couldn’t be on birth control (for many reasons), and I could not get my period because I would uncontrollably lose blood and need a transfusion due to having low platelets.”
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Stephanie finds intimacy difficult from a past emotional trauma as well. “I have recently come off of the medication, but being on it for such a long time left me with lasting side effects,” she said, “Lupron, along with my other medication made me a robotic, asexual being for the past 2 years. Add into the mix that I have had some pretty traumatic sexual experiences in my life that make me nervous when just meeting and opening up to someone in that way. It’s not that I don’t care or love them, it is simply a mental thing for me.”
Stephanie described the difficulty of sharing this information with a new partner. “To be truthful, I have had difficulties with sex in the past. I’ll never forget the text my ex boyfriend sent me saying ‘at least she touches me’ in reference to his current more sexually apt girlfriend,” Stephanie said, “but I know sex can be beautiful, and it can be a bonding experience. Despite my feelings about sex, I do experience love, connection, and physical attraction. And it is SO embarrassing to tell partners this and usually always leads to disappointment or your partner feeling inadequate (when it is really quite the opposite). This is something people have a hard time grasping, especially when you’re in the ‘business of being sexy’ online.”
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Will Stephanie be able to open up to Erika? That’s for fans to find out, but Stephanie is not in any way conflicted about her sexuality. “So please be aware that upon meeting Erika, my lack of sexual openness was nothing to do with apprehension of my bisexuality. I am FIRM and confident in my sexuality. It was nothing to do with anyone pressuring me,” she wrote, “I was incredibly nervous, tired, and insecure: It had been a long time since I had human touch, and it had been a long time since I felt those feelings. People have different love languages, and that is okay. No one is wrong and nobody’s feelings are invalid.”
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TELL US- WHAT DO YOU THINK OF STEPHANIE’S STATEMENT? WILL SHE BE ABLE TO OPEN UP TO ERIKA?
[Photo Credit: TLC]