There were games and sports galore on last night’s Real Housewives Of Atlanta, but undoubtedly the thing to watch was Marc Daly and Kenya Moore‘s fascinating marriage! And Marc, he’s not playing around when it comes to the rules fo his wife!
When Marc is in the room, it’s literally the only thing anyone can focus on. Everyone circles around, watching, witnessing – it’s almost a religious experience to observe Kenya be de-twirled by Marc’s systematic demands. He’s a drill sergeant, and she’s at [licking] boot camp. Kenya is usually the one spinning everything up, ruling the scene with predictable unpredictable behavior, but when Marc is present she morphs into a shadow of her former self. This reversal of position is both electrifying and depressing.
While Kenya is wrestling with marital mishaps, Cynthia Bailey is wrestling with Open Mike’s revelations. Mike Hill has written a confessional memoir about his past as a philandering ladies man who eviscerated every relationship he’s ever been in. Also, he’s a terrible arguer. And Michelle Obama says couples need to learn how to argue. So now Cynthia wants couples counseling. Which means she did learn something after all from her terrible marriage to Peter Peter Bank Account Eater.
Cynthia also wants to have faith in this New Mike, who vows not to stray, not even across the street, but realistic 52 Cynts wants to manage marriage no 2 better. So after an argument with Mike about how they can’t have productive arguments, he returns to LA, where he’s had time to think about counseling. Mike calls with the surprise news that he’s found a couple’s counselor and next time he’s in town they’ll go together. After all, therapy worked wonders for Porsha Williams and Dennis McKinley. It did…. ? [Insert Side Eye here] [Still side-eyeing] […. yep, STILL side-eyeing…] But anyway, CHill it is not.
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Then there is Nene Leakes. NeNe is just so worn out, soooo exhausted, soooooooo depleted after hosting her draining Leopard Lunch. I hasten to call something that happened at 4 pm a “lunch,” so how about a Leopard Early Bird Special? NeNe tells Gregg the most upsetting thing was that Kenya only stayed for 7 minutes. This pettiness and disrespect have hurt NeNe so badly. What NeNe is NOT focusing on is the reason Kenya only stayed for 7 minutes: It’s because Kenya showed up – 30 minutes late! – and NeNe wasn’t even present at her own event. So Kenya left. Then NeNe didn’t arrive for another TWO WHOLE HOURS.
NeNe’s anger isn’t justified in that instance. Luckily she has another, more legitimate reason, for being upset: Marc is in Atlanta to host a male empowerment event, and he wants Gregg and NeNe to attend. He also was Gregg to speak. Which really is a mistake if Wendy Williams is to be believed… Of course, Marc’s also expecting DENNIS to participate, so his standards for what constitutes a positive male role model are apparently rock bottom. Anyway, since Marc is not Instagram, he asked Kenya to advertise the event so she tagged every single one of her cast members and their husbands – even Gregg – except for NeNe! Oops. Obviously, NeNe is livid.
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Yes, Kenya is playing lots of games here. Lots and lots of games. But as soon as Marc steps up to the plate she scuttles over to the sidelines or hides in the dugout as Water Girl. Or Water Ken.
In addition to mind games, Kenya is also playing kickball. She and Kandi Burruss get all the ladies together for what actually turned out to be a super-fun competition. Eva Marcille, who did not go into labor, but is now on the most un-bedded bed rest of all times, shows up, but can’t play so she subbed in her stylist, Barbie, instead. In retaliation for Kenya’s behavior at the Leopard Lunch, NeNe can’t possibly spare the time to attend. As if anyone misses her.
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The ladies who did show up are divided into two teams. Team Hurricane, led by Kandi and featuring Porsha, who brought a booty that is easily mistaken for the actual kickball. And Team Twirl led by Kenya and featuring Marlo Hampton, an expert at juggling balls in any form, who is determined to win. And they do! In a crushing defeat. It was all in fun though, and afterward, surprise! Kenya and Kandi decide the unification must continue with a group trip to Greece. Yaaaaaaaay… except also Naaaaaay, as in NayNay, which sounds a lot like NeNe, who will be invited by Kandi. Much to Kenya’s chagrin. It seems everyone is inviting NeNe places behind Kenya’s back and without her agreement.
For instance, Marc has decided to host a couples bowling event so he can meet all the husbands before his charity function. Obviously, Kenya does not want NeNe there. She tells Marc that NeNe almost fought her in Toronto, which is the reason she’s is keeping her distance. Marc doesn’t care. He wants Gregg to be present at his event so he will go over his wife’s head of VERY REAL NON-WIG hair to include them. Clearly, Marc does not subscribe to the age-old principle that if your wife doesn’t like someone the husband doesn’t either. It’s called loyalty, and that bitch ain’t got none. I wonder in what other areas is Marc disloyal?
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Still, Kenya is managing the bowling guest list and managed to leave NeNe out. She also informed Tanya Sam that she couldn’t come if Paul Judge wasn’t available since it was a “couple’s only event.” Yet it was totally fine for Cynthia and Eva to attend without their men. What kind of bed rest includes bowling, btw?! Marlo, being single, was left out completely. Well, Marlo is wedded to her wigs and her Chanel, doesn’t that count?
The thing is Kenya talks a big game about how no one better come for her and nobody puts her in the corner, but someone does put “Ken” in the corner. That someone is Marc. With Marc, Kenya has an altered named Ken. Someone who is condescended to and talked down to. Ken doesn’t speak up. Ken smiles vacantly at the floor as her husband makes edicts for the both of them, regardless of her true feelings, which all her friends know. This is what happens at bowling.
Marc runs the show, and Ken plays his trusty sidekick. The magicians assistant, and Marc’s best trick is pulling a subservient Kenya out of his hat. Porsha and Cynthia notice immediately that something is different about Kenya. Cynthia explains that Marc “doesn’t play” (except with Kenya’s emotions) and keeps a tight reign on his wife. The second Marc’s back is turned, however, Kenya acts out like a wayward child. For instance, Marc straight up yells at Kenya for telling Tanya she was only invited as part of a couple. According to Marc he never said “couples only,” and he will NOT have Kenya mincing his words. She just smiles vacantly and apologizes. Porsha looks on, sucking that straw full of Hennessey and wishing she had ordered popcorn, not pizza.
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With Kenya on her best wifely behavior, Porsha takes the opportunity to confront her about calling Tanya a C-U-Next-Tuesday. Tanya is disgusted by the insult, and Porsha is not impressed that Kenya went there. She’s not surprised though. But in this post-Marc era, when the hubs is away, the Ken will play. Play dirty that is.
All throughout bowling Marc continues snapping at Ken to be quiet, behave, and knock it off. As if she is a literal child instead of a grown woman who merely acts like a teenager 95% of the time. While I have been waiting to see someone put Kenya in her place, this is just sad. It’s also strangely anticlimactic to have Kenya married to a dogmatic bully who doesn’t appreciate her in the least. It’s like Ken – do something! Twirl your hair back and forth in his face. Get in the game. Keep your eye on the ball. Look alive!!
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This subject of NeNe will not drop. Once bowling ends Marc stands up to make a speech. Or more of a proclamation about what his event stands for and why everyone is going to put their differences aside for the sake of charity. There is no “I” in “team,” after all! Unfortunately, Kenya didn’t get the memo when she refused to tag NeNe in the invite. Just as Marc is lecturing Ken on being immature and selfish for defying his orders to include everyone associated with a television camera – in walks NeNe with Gregg! First of all, why is NeNe super late AGAIN?! Second of all, why is she wearing SUNGLASSESindoorsrs at night? Is she a 1980’s pop star? Or maybe that was protective eye gear in case Kenya popped off? Third of all, if this event is about unity, why is it really all about Marc??
If looks could kill NeNe would have been strangled by her sequined turban right before Kenya’s eyes, but because Marc was there Ken bites her viper tongue and makes cordial nice. It’s like Kenya turned into Duchess Kate. Well a Bravo-tized version, anyway. King Marc welcomes NeNe and Gregg with open arms, sealing a truce between two power couples (ha) with a stacking of hands and a decree that he will never split up a family. OK, dude – this is a PARTY, it’s not that serious. Also if the rumors are true Gregg fathered a child with his mistress, so he’s the one splitting up families. ALLEGEDLY. Marc is taking himself, broker of peace, savior of Real Housewives Of Atlanta, waaaay too seriously and he’s not taking his relationship with his wife seriously enough.
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With Marc’s back turned, NeNe leans into Kenya – way too into her personal space, I might add – to insist there are no hard feelings on her end. NeNe wants Kenya to declare that they are truly good, but Kenya is not there yet. Ken may have civility, but Kenya warns NeNe that this discussion is far from over. It’s postponed for the next time Marc’s back is turned.
LORD, this marriage is TOXIC.
TELL US – IS MARC DOMINEERING, OR IS HE THE VOICE OF REASON KENYA NEEDS? DOES NENE HAVE A RIGHT BE ANGRY AT KENYA?
[Photo Credits: Bravo]