Nia Jax doesn’t feel like herself right now.
On Tuesday’s all-new Total Divas, the WWE superstar revealed she was struggling amid a painful health crisis. During last week’s episode, Jax learned that her overwhelming knee pain was due to a missing ACL graft.
“I got an MRI on my knee and it turns out that I have no ACL in my right knee,” the 35-year-old wrestler noted in a confessional.
While the Total Divas star was in pain, she wasn’t willing to back out of Nikki Bella and Brie Bella‘s Birdiebee fashion show. Of course, the Bella Twins reminded Jax that her health always “comes first.”
“There’s so much going on right now with my knees and WrestleMania a few weeks away. I’m so excited to be able to just go hang with my girls to walk in their fashion show,” Jax added later on. “Worst case scenario: I slip and fall into the pool, but I still come out looking sexy and dripping wet in a Birdiebee outfit.”
However, the Birdiebee fashion show proved to be much more than a distraction for a struggling Jax, as it allowed the Bellas to check in with their good friend.
Ahead of the big event, Nikki sat down with Nia to discuss her health, both mental and physical.
“When I look at you, I feel like I was you like, a year and a half ago,” the Birdiebee co-founder expressed. “And honestly, it wasn’t just my physical health, it was my mental health.”
As fans surely recall, Bella stepped away from the ring after having major surgery for a neck injury. Although Bella was able to wrestle again following the procedure, she was forced to retire once a brain cyst and a herniated disc were discovered.
Thus, the Total Bellas star could fully empathize with Jax’s situation. After listening to her close friend, Jax admitted that she has “kind of lost” herself.
“Lost myself in the pain. Lost myself in the whole grind,” the Total Divas star stated while fighting back tears. “I’m not healthy. Like, I’ve lost myself.”
Of course, since the last five years have been “non-stop wrestling” for Jax, she admitted to forgetting what’s important to her. Thankfully, Nikki’s encouragement to focus on her health raised Nia’s spirits.
“Being here a part of the Birdiebee fashion show, it kind of gives me a little bit of hope for myself,” Jax relayed to the Total Divas camera. “Because, I watched Nikki go through a very devastating injury and a really, really rough time in her life to where she is now. She’s so happy and she has all these businesses and she’s just really thriving and it gives me hope.”
Although the chat with Nikki and participating in the fashion show made Jax feel better, she realized that she was still feeling lost within the WWE.
“Things are definitely changing. I don’t have you guys around. I don’t have Paige around,” Jax shared with the Bellas Twins. “I just don’t feel like myself around anybody.”
Apparently, Jax felt like she was forcing herself to get along with co-stars Carmella and Sonya Deville. Furthermore, her chronic knee pain resulted in her acting “cold and mean” to others.
Having been in the business for so long, the Bella Twins were able to give Nia some much needed guidance. Per Brie, she witnessed Nikki go through something similar during the latter’s health crisis.
“I feel like when you’re in pain all the time, it just, it makes your mood change. It makes you be a person that you don’t want to be,” Daniel Bryan‘s wife reflected.
In an attempt to help, Nikki urged Nia to buy her female peers “gratitude gifts” and to explain the pain she has faced.
“Leave with good energy,” Brie said in support of the gift idea. “But, you always have us, even though we’re not in the locker room.”
Nikki and Brie’s insight certainly helped Nia decide to take time for herself post-WrestleMania.
“I feel as though after WrestleMania having that time to reflect and heal, not only physically but mentally, will definitely help my perspective on everything that’s going on in my life, in my career and with the locker room,” Jax concluded. “I can find myself again. I can really take care of myself. It’s something that I need to do.”
See everything that went down on this week’s episode, including Ronda Rousey and Sonya’s big heart-to-heart, in the recap video above!
Watch a brand new episode of Total Divas Tuesday at 10 p.m., only on E!